Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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