New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
