I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
