I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
