I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
