Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
