you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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