We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
