Don't you send me to vm
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
