Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
my god I love twenty year old dicks
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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