he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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