Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
