I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize