You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Randomize
