i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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