Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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