i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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