Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
