Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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