I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Green mimosas i think yes
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
