Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize