You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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