I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I will die if light touches me.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
