Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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