I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
