lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
