I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
