By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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