I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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