hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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