is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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