the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize