I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
