I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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