Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
