Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
