its not stalking. its research.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
