belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
