yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
