i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
