He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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