Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
