chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
