Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
