i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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