Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
