I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
