it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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