I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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