Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
