my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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