I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
