awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
