drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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