saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize