So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
