Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
