Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
