do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Say something about gay babies.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
