Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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