The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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