dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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