The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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