I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
