Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
