it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
