he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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